Question 2: If you could erase a horrible experience from your past…

So, I’m starting a blog series where I answer random questions. It’s like those questionnaires I love so much, except with actual writing instead of fill-in-the-blanks. Feel free to play along at home by answering the question in the comments or by submitting a question.  Hopefully this is fun! Question 1 can be found here.

You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Ok, so my life has been pretty average. There have been awful, awful things but I know how blessed I am.

That being said, I refuse to fall into the “I wouldn’t change anything because each experience has come together to shape who I am as a person” cliche, because, while it may be true, it is absolutely no fun and not in the spirt of  the game.

*Trigger Warning: Bullying*

I think the memory I’d most want to erase would be from my 6th grade year. I know, I know, middle school drama! But there were these two horrid boys who would bully me so badly that I actually became afraid to go anywhere without a friend. That’s the kind of memory I could live without.

Ultimately, one moved away and I punched the other one in the face, so things worked out alright. But it was a rather harrowing time for little me and whatever “growth” I experienced, I would willing exchange for never having to think about that part of my life again.

 

 

 

I’m happy…

Today was perfect in a million small ways. I mean, there so much that could have gone better. I wish I’d been more proactive about housework and homework. It was absolutely soaking wet outside. I went to a dance, and wish that I’d have done something I didn’t have the courage to do.

But in another way, I wouldn’t change a thing. Driving to a soccer game in a warm car with rain all around and the sound of jazz enveloping everything and coating it with significance… getting ready for the dance with a group of friends (some new, some old)…actually wearing make-up and painting my nails…having far too much coffee and far too little food…dancing like a maniac, even though I can’t really dance…having my stomach do those stupid flips that prove I’m actually a human with feelings and emotions…driving home and experiencing that sense of camaraderie that makes you feel young and alive in a way few things do…

I think I’m beginning to understand that I’m a senior. I feel so utterly alive, in part because of the coffee and the late hour. But another reason is that I feel awake for the first time in a while. I feel like I’m living my life, not just watching it pass by. And I relish it.

That’s all I’ve got tonight, guys.

 

47 Random Questions

My life is busy beyond belief, but I still want to blog. You know what that means…. QUESTIONNAIRE TIME!!!!

1. My full name- This is the internet, soooo no. My first name’s Robyn though, not Juliet, just FYI.
2. Zodiac sign- Scorpio, but I’m not really the mystical type
3. 3 fears- Llamas, elevators, and lack of control.
4. 3 things I love- Musicals, mud, and the color purple.
5. 4 turn on’s-  This
6. 4 turn off’s- ^^^^^^
7. My best friend- I have a cluster, not just one individual.
8. Sexual orientation- Heterosexual. Sorry ladies 😛
9. My best first date- It wasn’t even supposed to be a date, but we ended up getting milkshakes in the middle of a grocery store. It was a blast.
10. How tall am I?- 5’8 and a half. Yep.
11. What do I miss?- Believing that growing up meant kissing boys, getting a driver’s license, and going to college.
12. What time was I born?- Evening, like 8 o’clockish, I think.
13. Favorite color?- Black, unless you count that as the absence of color. Then purple.
14. Do I have a crush?- Yep.
15. Favorite quote- At the moment?”She refused to be bored chiefly because she was not boring.” ~Zelda Fitzgerald
16. Favorite place- There’s a certain resturant
17. Favorite food- Stir fry. This is a recent development. Formerly, I would have said lasagna.
18. Do I use sarcasm?- Never
19. What am I listening to right now?- A Tour in Italy by Bandaid. It’s ridiculously catchy.
20. First thing I notice in new people?- Vocabulary
21. Shoe size?- Why? Do you have a foot fetish, questionnaire?
22. Eye color- Hazel
23. Hair color- My friend Max says it’s “dirty blonde”
24. Favorite style of clothing-A mix between high fashion and the soccer field.
25. Ever done a prank call?- Yep!
26. What color underwear…is this a real question? No.
27. Meaning behind my URL?- See this from two years ago
28. Favorite movie- It changes constantly, but right now it’s Reality Bites
29. Favorite song- Again, this is constantly changing, but probably Roll to Me by Del Amitri at this moment. I’m on a 90’s kick.
30. Favorite band- Possibly The Mountain Goats
31. How I feel right now- Tired
32. Someone I love- Josh. I love Josh.
33. My current relationship status- Perpetually single 😛
34. My relationship with my parents- Complicated. Just don’t bring up spoons or windows…
35. Favorite holiday- Which ever is next. That means it’s currently Halloween!
36. Tattoos and piercings I have – My ears are pierced.
37. Tattoos and piercings I want- None. There’s little that could convince me that I need more needles in my life.
38. The reason I started blogging- It’s cliched, but I wanted to be heard. I like writing and can only take so much approval from my mother.
39. Last book I read?- The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
40. Do I ever get “good morning” or “good evening” texts?- Occasionally
41. Have I ever kissed the last person I texted?- It was my classmate Gloria, so…no.
42. When did I last hold hands?- Friday, I think?
43. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?- Maybe 15 minutes.
44. Have I shaved my legs in the last three days?- Um, I actually don’t know…
45. Where am I right now?- At home, exhausted.
46. If I was drunk and unable to stand, who’d be taking care of me?- Usually I’d say my friend Jess, but if I’m drunk…she probably is too! So I’ll go with Nate, my poor neighbor/surrogate brother.
47. Do I like my music at a loud or reasonable level?- Define “reasonable”.

You know far more than you ever wanted to about me. But in the interest of fairness, if you answer the survey and link it in the comments, I pinkie promise to not only read it, but to leave a comment of my own. Deal?

 

High School

This is going to be a life blog. I do not apologize.*

This summer, I began asking myself what I wanted to remember about high school. Those of you who have been here a while or who know me IRL are aware of the fact that I’ve never attended a “normal” high school. For my freshman and sophomore years, I went to a cooperative school. But last year (my junior year), I began taking all my classes at a local community college. So, this year is both my senior year of high school and my sophomore year in college. I guess you could say that I haven’t had the most typical of high school experiences.

I mean, I have attempted to “experience” all the things kids my age experience (No, Mom, that doesn’t mean sex, drugs, and alcohol…). I’ve played sports for my local school, gone to dances (ok, one dance),and  cheered at homecoming games. The cool thing, though, is that I am in the unique position of shaping what my personal experience looks like.

For me, high school will remind me of seeing my first Broadway show (“Memphis”) or the time I went to a six hour concert showcasing local artists or being able to intern for credit at my college’s theater department. I’ll think of meeting the Vlogbrothers and Tom Milsom and Raven Zoe. I’ll laugh at the memory of the time I went for a walk in the snow at midnight, dressed in footie pajamas and a kola hat, with two of my best friend or staying up all night to marathon Doctor Who or Buffy. High school will be where I broke a boy’s heart for the first time and where another boy kept breaking mine. It will be the time of my life where I left the country for the first time, pushed myself to actually make friends, and discovered a love for Nutella.

I have the rare privilege of being able to plan my own graduation. When I first started high school, the song at the top of this post would have seemed the most appropriate song to play at the ceremony. Everything was embarrassing. But as I found my footing, I realized that the fact I was embarrassed was good. It meant that I hadn’t allowed myself to stagnate. I was out doing things. The last thing that I want is to look back on my own life and realize that I’ve been a spectator.

I’m reaching the point where I’m in a state of perpetual nostalgia. 🙂

 

*lies. I feel awful when I life blog.

Why I am I doing this again?

For those of you who don’t know, I’m in high school and college at the same time. This is something I decided to do, not something I was coerced into doing. And for the most part, I love it. Sure, there are challenges but college has been so much fun so far. Until this term, that is…

You see, this being my first year in college, I didn’t want to drown my first term so I took a light course-load. In order to graduate with both my AA and my high school diploma next year, I need to make up 6 credits. So, what am I doing? Taking 17 credits plus one class at my high school. Yep…

Somehow, this seemed like a good idea. As the new term starts and I begin to understand the implications of my decision, I’m questioning my choice .

I’ll keep you updated!

How I Forecast Classes For College

I’m just going to tell you how I decide what classes to take. This doesn’t mean that you should choose classes the same way.

1. First,  look up the requirements for the AA degree (and for graduation from high school since I have to have both). Set this information aside for now.
2. Go through the college course catalog and write down information for any class that interests you.  It can be funny or serious. Try to think about what you need for your requirements, but don’t worry TOO much about that yet.
3. Once you finish your list, it’s time to start dissecting it.  Try to find classes that fit your guidelines. What classes would meet the guidelines for English? What about P.E? You should narrow the list down to about 10-15 classes. Keep some back-ups listed-just in case.
4. Now talk to your high school counselor and discard all the work you’ve done so far. Start over.
5. Talk with your friends and find out how many classes you can take together (and who is driving).
6. Take this list in to your counselor, have her sign it, and turn it in to the college.

This sounds pathetic, but this is how I forecast! It has a lot in common with having a nervous breakdown, now that I think about it… Ugh!

Today’s topic is…

Image via Wikipedia

It is a sad, sad day when the only homework you actually want to do is math! But we’re studying polynomials and I ….enjoy them. I know, right? I’m just as shocked as you!

It also helps that I have no English homework, am done with my Spanish, hate my Chemistry, and am so far behind in World History that the very words “World History” make me want to cry.

Yep.

Spring break is officially over. I have work today and tomorrow is crazy! Grrr. I like being lazy!

However, this isn’t what I want to talk about. No, today I want to talk about … something. Dang it! I had a good idea too! But I walked away from the computer for a sec, and the thought dissipated. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?!?

Seriously, though, is there a reason that every great idea seems to vanish just when you need it most?

I sometimes wonder about all the great ideas that have been forgotten. For every telephone, light bulb, or cotton gin, is there an equally radical idea that has simply been…misplaced?  How  many new inventions have been rejected because of funding, lack of relevance, or implausibility? What kind of a world would we live in if every brilliant idea were able to come to fruition? Think of the possibilities!

And it isn’t just technology, either! What about art or literature or music? Maybe Bach wrote a masterpiece on a napkin and then later misplaced it. Maybe it was his greatest work, an achievement of a lifetime, and it was thrown away by his maid when she tidied up his rooms.  The world missed out on that fictional masterpiece through a total accident. What other masterpieces has the world lost because a person didn’t write it down*, or didn’t like it, or was simply afraid to share it with others?

In comparison, forgetting a blog post topic doesn’t seem that bad! I could have forgotten the cure for the common cold, or the score for a symphony that could bring peace to warring nations through its melodic power.  I feel better…ish. Hey! At least I found a topic!

I still don’t know why people are so prone to forgetting these sorts of things. Maybe I’ll research it. Or maybe, I’ll actually do my world history homework, like a good girl should.

*That, by the way, is the reason I will always carry a notebook. One never knows when a stroke of genius will descend.