The Best of 2012

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2012 (film)

No, not THAT 2012

We’re ooo close to kissing 2012 good-bye and welcoming in 2013 with open arms.

So what’s the best way to remember a year? “In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee? In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife?” Oh wait, that’s from Rent…

I’m a fan of lists, so here are lists of some of my favorite things in 2012. Not all of these things came out in 2012, but they were all significant to me over the course of this year :

Books

  • The Fault in Stars by John Green
  • Where’d You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple
  • The Harry Potter Series by J.K Rowling
  • Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
  • This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Honorable Mentions: Save Me the Waltz by Zelda Fitzgerald,One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler, The 13 Clocks by James Thurber, Divergent by Veronica Roth, On the Road by Jack Kerouac, A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin, The Magicians by Lev Grossman, Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer, Seraphina by Rachel Hartman, and Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh.

Movies

  • Moonrise Kingdom (2012)
  • The Hunger Games (2012)
  • The Avengers (2012)
  • Lost in Translation (2003)
  • 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

Honorable Mentions: Marie Antoinette (2006), Jesus Christ: Superstar (1973), V for Vendetta (2006), The Cabin in the Woods (2012),

Movies that came out this year that I want to see (but haven’t yet): Anna Karenina, The Hobbit, Cloud Atlas, Life of Pie, Vamps, Looper, Beasts of the Southern Wild

TV

  • BBC’s Sherlock
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2002)
  • Doctor Who
  • Community
  • 30 Rock

Dishonorable mention/guilty pleasure: Gossip Girl ( I hate me too)

Music

Artists

  • Bob Dylan
  • Amanda Palmer
  • Haim
  • Mountain Goats
  • Tom Milsom

Songs

  • “Time to Run” Lord Huron
  • “Every Single Night” Fiona Apple
  • “A Tour in Italy” Bandaid
  • “Sad Dream” Sky Ferreira
  • “Thrift Shop” Macklemore

Let’s rock 2013!

You know you love me. XOXO, Ifimjuliet (Just kidding!)

What is the what

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Sometimes, when I’m stressed or emotional, I’ll  listen to Ke$ha. There is no logical reason for this. There’s just something kinda cathartic about the shallow lyrics, repetitive choruses, and the fact that each song is about 85% electronic. I don’t get it. It’s really embarrassing, and it’s not something I’d admit if put on the spot.

But this is what my life looks like right now…

Scene:  A girl sits alone on the floor of a typical suburban bedroom. She is surrounded by piles and piles of books, papers, binders, notebooks, and note-cards.  Colorful college brochures are scattered here and there, like wounded birds, half buried beneath dirty laundry and a smattering of glasses and bowls. In front of her is a computer that has seen better days. The girl herself is a haggard-looking 18 year old with a short pixie cut that looks more like a bird’s nest than hair.  She wears leggings, a crumpled t-shirt advertising some nerdy (yet vaguely mainstream) TV show, and over-the-ear headphones. She is seated criss-cross applesauce, and is shoveling chocolate pudding into her face. She is teary in a way that would make her mascara run, if she ever had the time or energy to figure out how to put on mascara (also if she wasn’t terrified of mascara, but that’s another story…).

Girl (crying and singing at the same time): “Stephen, why won’t you call me? I’m sitting here waiting. Why won’t you call me? Stephen, I’m feeling pathetic. I can’t take rejection. Why won’t you call me?”  (breaks into sobs, stops singing) Ke$ha’s right I am pathetic. I don’t even know who Stephen is, but he’ll never call. Why would he? I hate my life. Why am I such a loser?! (shovels more pudding into her mouth) Why would any college ever accept me, if Stephen won’t even call?!?

The girl stops, thinks for a moment, and shakes out of it.

What am I talking about??? I don’t even know any Stephens! I have like 5 papers to do before tomorrow. Come on! I’m an intelligent, independent woman. I’ve got this. Focus! I should just st0p listening to this cra…oh no (as she goes to click the mouse, the song changes. She bursts into ears again and starts singing) “I’m dancing with tears in my eyes, just fighting to get through the night. I’m losing it (cries harder) looosing it, loosing iit. With every move I die” (she stops singing, and wipes at her eyes)I can’t even…(sobs)

Lately,there has been a lot of Ke$ha in my play queue.

Why I’m a feminist

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This is not your regularly scheduled programming. In fact, this post should not  be necessary.  But I have received a number of distasteful comments (which I’ve deleted) and been heckled in real life, soooo… yeah. Time to blog.

May I start out by saying 1. This is not the definitive post on this subject. Other people know much more than me. I’m just explaining my position. 2. This is written by a white cis female. I speak for myself, because that’s who I know.

Get it? Got it. Good.

Here is what I believe about feminism:

  • I am strong and independent. My sexuality is exactly that- mine. Being empowered does not = male, anymore than being weak=female.
  • I have the right to decide whether or not to have sex. If I don’t consent, that’s not me being coy. That’s me using my right to say no. Forcing someone to have sex with you isn’t “giving ’em what they really want”. It’s rape, and that’s a crime. Joking about rape is not funny. Ever.
  • I’m not property. I don’t mind if you find me attractive but ogling, cat calls, or asking for a piece of “dat ass” are all inappropriate ways of expressing your attraction.
  • Yes, I call myself a feminist. No, that doesn’t mean I hate men. “Feminism” could totally be replaced with the term “equality” by my understanding of it. It isn’t about  destroying men, it’s about destroying a patriarchal treatment of issues like  wages, birth control, and objectification.
  • Being a feminist also doesn’t mean that I eschew fashion, don’t shave my legs, burn my bras, or whatever (although, just for the record, if you do those things, it’s a-okay too). I do believe that all of those things can be seen to represent a kind of oppression of female sexuality, but I also believe that if you enjoy them/they make you feel beautiful, you should have at it. On a related note, I also think societal beauty standards are a joke. Your body is beauty. Thin, heavy, short, tall…you are gorgeous. Embrace that!
  • I’m not anti-marriage or anti-family. I’m anti-domestic  violence/ “a woman’s place is in the kitchen” and pro-women having a choice as to what having a family means/being able to still having a career and a life. Does that count?
  • I don’t believe in chivalry. I believe in common courtesy. My feminism doesn’t give you the right to be an ass anymore than it gives me a right to be a chauvinist.

There. I just wanted to hash that out. Everything I’ve just addressed should be common sense, but…apparently not.

50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

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I’m back! To celebrate, here are the answers to more questions you don’t care about! (Real post tomorrow!)
  • 1. What’s your favorite candle scent?- Besides citrus, I love pumpkin.
  • 2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?- Jennifer Lawrence or Emma Watson
  • 3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?- I wish the Hemsworths were my brothers…
  • 4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?- 25 at the youngest (**** that’s only 7 years away!!!)
  • 5. Do you know a hoarder?-…maybe
  • 6. Can you do a split?- I can split my tendons. It’s not fun.
  • 7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?- 5. My daddy taught me.
  • 8. How many oceans have you swam in?- None. I can’t swim.
  • 9. How many countries have you been to?- Two.
  • 10. Is anyone in your family in the army?-Nope.
  • 11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?- Zelda, Rose, Echo, Amy, Beatrix, Lex, Selene, Chloe, Elsie, Mariel, Aliyah, Blair…
  • 12. What would you name your son if you had one?- Aiden, William, Jack, Xander, Wesley, Ewan, Ari, Daniel, Caspian, Benedict, Anthony, Topher….
  • 13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?- 0%, when I was younger. I told the teacher that the test was stupid and meant nothing in the long term. Then I walked out.
  • 14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?- Arthur, Liberty’s Kids, Kim Possible, or Redwall.
  • 15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?- Sherlock. When I say I’m a hardcore Sherlock fan, you’d best believe me.
  • 16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?- Yes.
  • 17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?- British.
  • 18. Did your mother go to college?- She did, but didn’t get a degree because of me.
  • 19. Are your grandparents still married?- Yes!
  • 20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?-One…
  • 21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?- Oh lord! This question has a whole different meaning to me and my friends
  • 22. What’s the first amusement park you went to?- Silverwood, I think.
  • 23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?- French.
  • 24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?- Grey
  • 25. Is your father bald?- Nope!
  • 26. Do you know triplets?- Kinda. I know a triplet.
  • 27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?- Neither?
  • 28. Have you ever had Indian food?- Oh yes.
  • 29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?- Boppin’ Bo’s
  • 30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?- Yep. That used to be my favorite restaurant.
  • 31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?- Yes, yes
  • 32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?- The same thing
  • 33. If you have a nickname, what is it?- Do I have a nickname? Psh..here’s a list of my nicknames: Senorita Robynita, Robbit the Flobbit, Caliente, Brooke, The Silent Assassin, The Wall, Honey-badger, The Slayer, Buffy Summers, Thrace, Buffy Thrace, Bob the Tomato, The Walking Talking Human Encyclopedia, BookGirl, The Smexy One, Ninja Master, Dream Team, A-Team, Black Widow, and Red Leader
  • 34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?- My best friend.
  • 35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?- Suburbs. Better wifi.
  • 36. Can you whistle?- Yes I can, Flo Rida.
  • 37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?- Nope.
  • 38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?- Sometimes I forget.
  • 39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?- I rarely take medication.
  • 40. What medical conditions do you have?- Blood/spleen issues, cyst issues, an allergy to cedar wood…
  • 41. How many times have you been to the hospital?- Um….
  • 42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?- Yes! I saw it in theaters!
  • 43. Where do you buy your jeans?- Thrift stores or JC Penney’s
  • 44. What’s the last compliment you got?- “You look like Keira Knightley”
  • 45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?- Actually, yes.
  • 46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?-Lemon. I love me some lemons.
  • 47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?- Too many.
  • 48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?- Read this blog. I’ll give you 3 guesses.
  • 49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?- I was quite young. I told my parents that they could keep pretending if it made them happy. I was quite sassy.
  • 50. Why do you have a tumblr/blog?- Because I NEED ALL THE ATTENTION!

Well, that’s that.Props to my beautiful guest bloggers for holding down the fort. You are gorgeous and I adore each and every one of you. :*    I’M HOME!

Better Late Then Never…

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So, I was supposed to write a blog post for you guys while “the one who may be Juliet” was gone. But she’s back from her trip now, and I still haven’t written anything for you guys. So that’s what I’ll be doing for you today. I actually had a blog myself, but it was written by angsty 12-year-old me. Trust me, no one wants to see that. I only pray that Google heard my prayers and nuked it from the internet like I requested. Any who, I guess you could say this is me getting back on the ol’ blogging horse (although I’m actually just sitting here in my computer chair). However, there remains the small problem of I have no idea what I want to blog about. I could go back into my old blog for ideas, but that’s one grave I want to leave untouched.

I guess I could talk about the internet. It’s such a deeply ingrained part of my life that I can’t imagine what kind of person I would be without it. You see, like many people, I’m in a love-hate relationship with the internet. It was both my faithful companion into many lonely nights and my crippling addiction that prevented me from getting anything productive done. You are what you eat, and I’m the conglomeration of countless videos, images, blogs, articles, and god knows what else that you’ll find in your feeds. For better or for worse, I’m a child of the internet, and that both excites and scares me.

It’s fascinating really. What originally started as a government project for communicating instantaneously over long distances began one of the most important advances in technology since, well, the computer. It’s amazing that something so incredibly vital to our culture today was only created roughly 20 years ago. 20 YEARS! Did the car connect friends and families from around the world in the first 20 years of its creation? Did the telephone inspire millions upon millions of people to become content creators for other to enjoy?  Did the television become integrated into practically every piece of technology we use in its first 20 years? I don’t think so.

However, despite its astounding growth, the internet is merely a step in a long line of mans attempt to get closer to one another. Think about it: the car, the train, and eventually the plane, were created because we felt like we couldn’t get to each other fast enough. Eventually, physical transportation wasn’t fast enough, so we created the telephone and radio so we could talk to each other, even if we were thousands of miles away. Even then, our voices weren’t enough. We needed to be able to see one another, and our surroundings, so we created the television and the camera. Even after all of that, not enough people felt like they could create and send the message they wanted, so they invented the computer. And finally, despite the incredibly massive leaps in technology we had taken, people still wanted to be able to communicate and share any form of content they could possibly want, so we created the internet.

Now that it’s touched practically every part of civilized life in the time it takes a human to grow into their biological prime, I can’t imagine what’s in store for the future.

(To reward you for reading this, here’s a kitten with a mustache.)

Aside

Hello! Once again, this is not your regular writer. Clearly. That’s what you were told would happen. And you believe everything you’re told on the Internet, don’t you? You silly people. I bet you conspiracy theorist hipster hippies think that tomatoes are fruits.

Today I’ve been instructed to wow all of you with my ability to blog about things. The thing is, I’ve never really blogged before. This is an awfully large amount of responsibility to put on me all at once. I might cave under the pressure. What if I don’t do a good job? What if I make an embaresing spelling mistake? It’s just horrable. It’s also 7 AM, a rather ungodly hour if you ask me. I think it’s fair to say that no one should ever be awake at a time like this. We’re supposed to wake up in the morning, and everyone knows that AM stands for ‘Almost Morning,’ so why would we want to be early to our date with consciousness? Savor your unconscious states as if they were fluffy baby seals that wanted nothing more than to stare at you cutely and love you… Before having someone yank them from you and club their brains out.

An astute analogy, I think, though a grim one. But for an adolescent, when is waking up at 7 not grim? It throws the whole day wildly off-kilter, and makes for completely unfocused blog posts.

And back on that subject, what on earth is the point of this? I need a point. Points are good. Or a theme. Or maybe even something as specific as a topic of discussion.

Here’s a list of the top five Michael Bay movies:

Huh, that’s weird. Anyway. Did you know that the word “clip” has many meanings, two of which are complete opposites of each other? I can clip things together, and clip them apart. With paperclips, video clips, ammo clips, hedge clippers, hair clippers, or nail clippers. And somewhere in there are clipper ships. But that’s neither here nor there. But if it’s not here, and it’s not there, then where the heck is it? Non-being I suppose, into which my coherency is slowly trickling. This post needs a focus, and fast!

I suppose I could tell you the usual things. Who I am, what I like, what I like to do… My top favorite such and suches… What I plan to do with my day…

Ooh, there’s an idea. What I plan to do with my day. I don’t mean to actually tell you; it’s of no consequence at all. But you should think about this; what do you plan to do with your day? And later, when you’re going to bed, ask yourself, “what did I do with my day?” How do the two deviate, and how often? I’ve found that the quality of life, for oneself and for others, consistently depends on this answer. Sometimes I plan to spend a day doing homework and to be in bed by 11. Most times I spend a day doing nothing, and end up in bed by 4 in the morning. Some people plan to show up to work on time every day so they won’t lose their jobs. Some plan to show up to their kids’ birthday parties. Some plan to stop smoking. Some plan to start jogging. Some plan to go into their owners’ bedrooms and pee on their backpacks right before they need to go to school.

That last one may or may not have been my wonderful pet puppy dog whom I love dearly and have no intention whatsoever of strangling.

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I got sidetracked again. And I forgot what my point was. I guess I could scroll up and reread it, but what’s the point? I still don’t know what it was. Oh well. Did you know that Steven King, John Grisham, and James Patterson all publish around 2 new books every year? WTF. Who has that kind of time? Hippies, no doubt. And who reads all these books?! Communists, of course.

I’m afraid it’s time for me to go, never to return. Maybe. You go live a happy life. And seize the day! Do what you plan to do, plan for what you need to do, and plan for what you want to do. Especially if you’re a dog, and you like having a low life expectancy. If anyone needs me, I’ll be running a new load in the washing machine. Stay tuned for scenes from next episode! Written by a JOSH.

Cohesion is Overrated

Guest Post #1: What’s in a name? This is.

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Hey all! As you may have heard, I’m not the usual writer for If I’m Juliet, just a friend who happened to unwittingly post a résumé in the comments and land a position on the newly formed B team of writers. So, the age-old adage stands: “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” (As evidenced by my temp job here as a stand-in blogger when I have no real clue I’m doing.)

In lieu of cluttering up this post with an introduction of myself, I’ll just post a link where you can evaluate my credentials and/or find the answers to only the most important details anyone might need to know about me here. —> The Unintentional Job Application

In the aftermath of my surprise employment, I was faced with a crisis rooted deep in the territory of the world wide web: I had to pick a username. Now, if you’ve made your way here, chances are you spend a considerable amount of time on the internet, so you should find this rather relevant… that’s the plan anyway.

This might just be the perfectionism that permeates most aspects of my life, but I see picking out a username as an opportunity to assert my creativity and wit upon the world. But even if you don’t share my particular brand of crazy, using the following advice as a guideline may at least save you the headache of trying to be more original than the millions of name-hunters preceding you on the various websites you encounter, and perhaps some embarrassment if your friends ever happen to check the screen over your shoulder.

Spare us humans the binary code – If your web-bound alter ego goes by princess32121348694131654654498, we can’t be friends. Seriously, that’s just inconsiderate. Numbers are only acceptable in small doses, preferably with some sort of meaning attached to them. No matter how many precious minutes you have to spend concocting permutations of your original effort, just don’t go there.

Use fancy adjectives – I propose this as a replacement for adding the first 100 decimal places of pi to the end of your name. It’s far more interesting and much easier for all parties involved to remember.

Embrace the title you’ve always wished you had – Adding a Mr, Mrs, or Miss to the front of your name is another far cleaner alternative to the distasteful number-adding phenomena. You can use most any label to this effect (Sir, Lady, Humanoid, etc.), so you should find at least one that hasn’t been used already.

Draw inspiration from
Steal ^ the genius of others – Shortened quotes or references to a favorite book, movie, song, or meme add a nice personal touch by displaying a snippet of your interests.

Follow your heart (or wherever it is that emotions happen) – If you’re still searching after applying all of the aforementioned techniques, follow the examples of IHateThinkingOfAUsername and ItsWayPastMyBedtime and channel that frustration you’re sure to be feeling.

And now, a short list of usernames I’ve actually stumbled upon in my journeys across the interweb, so you can see my recommendations in action.

Examples/Hall of Fame:

  • PeanutBudda (Puns: Always recommended in my book.)
  • CanadiansF***YeahSorryAboutTheLanguage (If you’re new to the internet, you should know that it enjoys placing large demographics under broad stereotypes. For example: Citizens of Canada=Polite to a fault.)
  • katherinethe19th (A reference to “An Abundance of Katherines” by John Green of the vlogbrothers.)
  • imthe8thhorcrux (Another literary reference to a series of which you may have heard.)
  • WhoTheEffIsMe (Tribute to the ongoing vlogbrothers joke “Who the eff is Hank?”)
  • SubstituteReality (I believe this was derived from one of my favorite quotes, “I reject your reality and substitute my own.” –Adam Savage, Mythbuster)
  • sparksflyup (Can you tell I love the vlogbrothers? They created this one based on the scripture Job 5:7 “For man is born for trouble, As sparks fly upward.”)
  • kaysyconundrum (Points for alliteration.)
  • LinseytheNerdiest (My, what a lovely and creative title you have there.)
  • IHateThinkingOfAUsername (And how do you feel about that?)
  • ItsWayPastMyBedtime (Looks like the last ditch effort of a bewildered and sleep-deprived individual.)
  • WhatYouOughttoKnow (Definitely validates whatever comments they may leave.)
  •  And my all time favorite… OhLookABandwagon. No explanation needed.

If you still have trouble snagging a moniker and just need someone who relates, Natalie Tran (aka communitychannel) is your friend: click here for a sense of camaraderie (Just a heads up for those of you who dislike profanity, I’d rank this as PG-13 for language.)