This is not your regularly scheduled programming. In fact, this post should not be necessary. But I have received a number of distasteful comments (which I’ve deleted) and been heckled in real life, soooo… yeah. Time to blog.
May I start out by saying 1. This is not the definitive post on this subject. Other people know much more than me. I’m just explaining my position. 2. This is written by a white cis female. I speak for myself, because that’s who I know.
Get it? Got it. Good.
Here is what I believe about feminism:
- I am strong and independent. My sexuality is exactly that- mine. Being empowered does not = male, anymore than being weak=female.
- I have the right to decide whether or not to have sex. If I don’t consent, that’s not me being coy. That’s me using my right to say no. Forcing someone to have sex with you isn’t “giving ’em what they really want”. It’s rape, and that’s a crime. Joking about rape is not funny. Ever.
- I’m not property. I don’t mind if you find me attractive but ogling, cat calls, or asking for a piece of “dat ass” are all inappropriate ways of expressing your attraction.
- Yes, I call myself a feminist. No, that doesn’t mean I hate men. “Feminism” could totally be replaced with the term “equality” by my understanding of it. It isn’t about destroying men, it’s about destroying a patriarchal treatment of issues like wages, birth control, and objectification.
- Being a feminist also doesn’t mean that I eschew fashion, don’t shave my legs, burn my bras, or whatever (although, just for the record, if you do those things, it’s a-okay too). I do believe that all of those things can be seen to represent a kind of oppression of female sexuality, but I also believe that if you enjoy them/they make you feel beautiful, you should have at it. On a related note, I also think societal beauty standards are a joke. Your body is beauty. Thin, heavy, short, tall…you are gorgeous. Embrace that!
- I’m not anti-marriage or anti-family. I’m anti-domestic violence/ “a woman’s place is in the kitchen” and pro-women having a choice as to what having a family means/being able to still having a career and a life. Does that count?
- I don’t believe in chivalry. I believe in common courtesy. My feminism doesn’t give you the right to be an ass anymore than it gives me a right to be a chauvinist.
There. I just wanted to hash that out. Everything I’ve just addressed should be common sense, but…apparently not.