Monthly Archives: September 2012

High School

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This is going to be a life blog. I do not apologize.*

This summer, I began asking myself what I wanted to remember about high school. Those of you who have been here a while or who know me IRL are aware of the fact that I’ve never attended a “normal” high school. For my freshman and sophomore years, I went to a cooperative school. But last year (my junior year), I began taking all my classes at a local community college. So, this year is both my senior year of high school and my sophomore year in college. I guess you could say that I haven’t had the most typical of high school experiences.

I mean, I have attempted to “experience” all the things kids my age experience (No, Mom, that doesn’t mean sex, drugs, and alcohol…). I’ve played sports for my local school, gone to dances (ok, one dance),and  cheered at homecoming games. The cool thing, though, is that I am in the unique position of shaping what my personal experience looks like.

For me, high school will remind me of seeing my first Broadway show (“Memphis”) or the time I went to a six hour concert showcasing local artists or being able to intern for credit at my college’s theater department. I’ll think of meeting the Vlogbrothers and Tom Milsom and Raven Zoe. I’ll laugh at the memory of the time I went for a walk in the snow at midnight, dressed in footie pajamas and a kola hat, with two of my best friend or staying up all night to marathon Doctor Who or Buffy. High school will be where I broke a boy’s heart for the first time and where another boy kept breaking mine. It will be the time of my life where I left the country for the first time, pushed myself to actually make friends, and discovered a love for Nutella.

I have the rare privilege of being able to plan my own graduation. When I first started high school, the song at the top of this post would have seemed the most appropriate song to play at the ceremony. Everything was embarrassing. But as I found my footing, I realized that the fact I was embarrassed was good. It meant that I hadn’t allowed myself to stagnate. I was out doing things. The last thing that I want is to look back on my own life and realize that I’ve been a spectator.

I’m reaching the point where I’m in a state of perpetual nostalgia. 🙂

 

*lies. I feel awful when I life blog.

What Even Is This?

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“When you experience uncertainty, you are on the right path – so don’t give it up. You don’t need to have a complete and rigid idea of what you’ll be doing next week or next year, because if you have a very clear idea of what’s going to happen and you get rigidly attached to it, then you shut out the whole range of possibilities.”

– Deepak Chopra

  My world is shifting in so many ways. This isn’t a complaint, just a statement of fact. I’m a senior in high school AND in my second year of college.  Dynamics with old friends are completely different. There are new friends I never saw coming. And I doubt freshman me with her Jane Austen, braids, and mousy demeanor would even recognize senior me with her brazen attitude, pixie cut, and Walt Whitman.

I’m working through the agonizing process of deciding where to transfer. There’s one school in particular that interests me…and it’s on the other side of the country. Part of me feels like that’s a good thing. I feel ready to severe my old ties and start new ones, to find myself, to go in pursuit of my Great Perhaps. But quite recently, there have been some changes that have made me consider whether leaving is such a good idea. There’s an opportunity to share a house with friends, a good scholarship from a local school, and yes, there is a boy.

I’m at the point where movies like Lost in Translation and Reality Bites seem surprisingly relevant and watching the prom and graduation episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer make me cry. There are moments when I surprise myself with my maturity and others where I behave like a child. I think this is what they call growing up.

Hope you’ve had a great summer and good luck to those of you headed back to school (or already in classes!).