I only missed 5 days!
I think that there’s a chance
And even admitting that makes me queasy
I mean, me: eternal pessimist
Keeper of the temple of broken dreams
And hearts to boot. It’s impossible
The math must be wrong, the calculations
Faulty. The results are mistaken.
I am not. I cannot. There’s no way at all.
I refuse to believe I’m in love.
Recently, I started reading The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. In the section entitled “The Cemetery of Forgotten Books”, the narrator says:
“…few things leave a deeper mark on a reader than the first book that finds its way into his heart. Those first images, the echo of words we think we have left behind, accompany us throughout our lives and sculpt a place in our memory to which, sooner or later – no matter how many books we read, how many worlds we discover, or how much we learn and forget- we will return.”
For me, two books are tied for this role. One is The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling. The other is Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.
I know that you will probably laugh at that. Romeo and Juliet is not my favorite play of Shakespeare’s. I don’t think that it is the love story to end all love stories. But it was the play that first made me realize what people could do with words.
Unlike the chapter books we read in class, Shakespeare’s words rolled off the tongue. They danced while the chapter books tottered. And as Romeo fell in love with Juliet, I fell in love with the English language.
I’ve read *almost* all of Shakespeare’s plays and all of his sonnets. I own more than 3 different versions of his complete works plus individual copies of some of the plays. I even went to school dressed in a historically accurate Roman stoa in order to give a book report on Julius Caesar.
In my experience, the two most some responses to Shakespeare are apathy or love. I think it’s clear which side I’m on.
These inspire me and, in lieu of yesterday’s post, I thought I’d share them with you :
“To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.” -Kurt Vonnegut
”Creative blocks’ come from people’s life journeys. If you don’t know who you are or what you’re about or what you believe in it’s really pretty impossible to be creative. So I think a lot of times when people have “creative blocks” and I know my share of friends do as well if they’re at just some stuck point. They’re not sure what to do with their lives or their writing or their photography or their filmmaking or whatever it is that they’re doing. I think the best advice is you have to change your life up completely; to go on a trip, to go spend a year being of service. Be willing to take some major drastic action to get you out of your comfort zone and go inside, not outside.” -Rainn Wilson
“You may not be a Picasso or Mozart but you don’t have to be. Just create to create. Create to remind yourself you’re still alive. Make stuff to inspire others to make something too. Create to learn a bit more about yourself.”-Frederick Terral
“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” -Joseph Chilton Pierce
” I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out
in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom
of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.” -Jack London’s Credo
“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” -Bertrand Russell
“You can’t say, I won’t write today because that excuse will extend into several days, then several months, then… you are not a writer anymore, just someone who dreams about being a writer.” – D.C. Fontana
‘The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”-Jack Kerouac
When we tell stories about creativity, we tend to leave out this phase. We neglect to mention those days when we wanted to quit, when we believed that our problem was impossible. Instead, we skip straight to the breakthrough. We tell the happy ending first. The danger of this scenario is that the act of feeling frustrated is an essential part of the creative process. Before we can find the answer — before we can even know the question — we must be immersed in disappointment, convinced that a solution is beyond our reach. We need to have wrestled with the problem and lost. Because it’s only after we stop searching that an answer may arrive.” – Jonah Lehrer
So, I love the arts. I’m especially passionate about literary, performing, and visual arts. Literary arts are my life, and I’ve taken two terms of theater classes. I’m also volunteering with a local theater troupe. But my love for visual arts is a bit more complicated.
I was that kid in kindergarten who refused to color in class because it was “silly”. I haven’t taken a visual art class since middle school. And if you asked someone to describe me, I doubt the words “painter’, “artist” or “the next Van Gogh” would be used.
You see, unlike with theater or lit., I always considered myself bad at visual arts. I loved drawing and painting and shaping clay, but I hated to show my work to others for fear that it would fall short of some invisible standard. I wanted to be the best and I knew that I wasn’t the best at this.
Two things changed my mind, or at least, forced me to reconsider my perspective of what makes good art. The first was a painting of pumpkins I did as a make-up assignment for my middle-school art class. I had been sick and the teacher had told me to create a painting of whatever I wanted in order to get credit. So, I chose pumpkins.
Painting those pumpkins was the first time I felt like I was doing something that wasn’t too weird or bad or incomplete for others to see. And when I turned it in, I felt like da Vinci bestowing a second Mona Lisa. Obviously it wasn’t, but it’s the first time I remember being proud of a piece of visual art.
The second was when I was doodling in my notebook one day, and my friend looked over and said, “Hey, that’s pretty cool. I wish I could draw like that.” I looked down at my doodle and then up my friend in surprise. I wasn’t working on anything spectacular. I was just drawing interesting lines over and over. And suddenly it dawned on me:
Art isn’t about perfection
In fact, one dictionary defines art simply as a work produced by skill and imagination.
What I was doing was legitimate art, even if it wasn’t likely you’d find in a museum.
My teacher has an expression she likes to use. “Festina lente”, or hurry slowly. I think that one phrase sums up my whole experience with art. It’s been about letting things happen and embracing opportunities. It’s knowing that I’m headed someplace, but still taking time to smell the roses. It’s about art for art’s sake and not in order to please an imaginary critic.
There’s my 5 cents worth. Don’t spend it all at one place! 😛
*because I’m tired and lazy and hungry and I can’t have food until I’ve had some tests tomorrow morning.
1.
As a Whovian, I must say, we have the most adorable cast. I don’t care if you’re not a fan of Matt Smith or Karen Gillan. They’re just the cutest individuals alive!
2. I’m working on an abstract art project. This is what the inside of my head looks like:
Cy Twombly's Work Space
3. Speaking of art…
A palette…of CUPCAKES!!!! (Did I mention that I’m hungry? 😛 )
4. I read this great essay called How to Do What You Love by Paul Graham. It’s inspiring but still realistic. As someone who is still searching for her purpose in life (at least career-wise), it was amazingly comforting.
5. Can I preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of Glee? I mean, if you like Glee, good for you! But it’s just not my thing. However, I am most definitely a fan of Darren Criss, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned in the past. So, this cover of Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know” is something that I very much enjoyed. I like how the song is turned from being about lovers to being about two brothers who no longer get along. (I still like the original best, I think)
6. Guys, I made a human heart!
Yes, this has to do with the aforementioned art project.
7. I cannot recommend Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman highly enough. It’s one of the best collections of poetry I’ve ever read. Not every piece is mind blowing, but oh so many are.
Like…
Tell me if this is a normal person thing or just a weird me thing. I’m not really sure.
Do you guys ever fall in love with an idea? I mean, hardcore, heart in your mouth, butterflies in your stomach, nervous, sweaty in love with an idea?
Does it become some kind of driving force behind your thoughts, a kind of background music to your day? Is it something that you just can’t shake, something that seems to bubble up from inside of you? And, even though it’s crazy, you find that this idea is on par with food, water, and shelter when it comes to the list of things you need to survive?
It’s not being OCD. It’s not like being on some kind of maniac trip. It’s just this all-abiding passion for one singular idea.
No? Just me? Ok.
Sigh
Hayley G. Hoover, one of my favorite YouTubers, posted a poetry writing prompt on her blog:
“In your poem, include at least fourteen of the following items: a statistic, a dish eaten cold, three forms of heat, a smell you can’t forget, a line from a movie, something out of a textbook, two things you wish you had said, a reference to an aunt or uncle, some kind of moving vehicle, two words beginning with R and ending with “-ion”, a stage direction, two distinct hours of the day, an historical figure, an adhesive, an animal only seen up close in the zoo, a slang expression (“call it quits,” for example), something really bad that you did, something that undermines or negates everything else you’ve said.”
I managed to fit all the items in. Here’s my poem
“Here’s looking at you, kid” he said
Toasting success to the best- the two of us.
And I didn’t respond, despondent silence
Louder than any shout, I hesitated.
I should have spoken, said something
Bring my congratulations to the surface
instead of mirthless fear but I didn’t.
I should’ve said “To us!” “Mazel tov!”
“I love you,” true every one. I said nothing.
Pungent, like fish weeks past their prime,
he stared at me, the world a train moving
Removing any distance between us
As I ate an 8 o’clock spaghetti at midnight,
Cold in a way no microwave or stove could restore,
Fiery glances passed between us, like a gust
Of death, come to cheer up the evening
that had begun so well, now gone bananas.
FDR said fear fears itself. I disagree
Revelation of reintegration between words and mouth
brought out this response: “Let us digress
to a non-relative discussion, percussion
Reverberation of static and non-static existence.”
I feared myself, my heart
No uncle, cousin, sister brother, father,
mother- dearer was he and I said
Nothing. And I was 72% sure I loved you.
End scene, drop the curtain down
Drown out the sorrowful glance of rhino
Behind glass at the zoo, so close
I could reach out and touch it, if it were real.
Reality gone haywire, clinging like duct tape,
Absorbing everything. I take it back,
it’s better I stay silent, reliant quiet
in face of the tangles of the unrealities
Unraveling in my head. Better to say nothing.
Hope you enjoyed! Any comments, questions, or critics are appreciated.
So far this year, I have read about 48 books give or take. My brain is filled with love triangles, wizards, superpowers, and teenage angst. I try to vary what genres I read from, but I’m kinda making up for lost time when it comes to young adult novels.
Out of all the books I’ve read, some of my favorites have been (in no particular order):
These are the ones I find myself blathering about and recommending to my friends. I actually only own two of these books personally, but ya know…broke college kid and all that. 😛
I have been asked how I can possibly have time to read as much as I do. The answer is, whenever I’m doing schoolwork, housework, or anything else I’m reading. It is my life.
I mean, it’s been my coping mechanism since I was about 6. Whenever I was bored or embarrassed, I’d read. And now, I have two giant bookcases in my room, books under my bed, books in my closet, and books stored in my sisters’ rooms. Addiction might be the right word.I love books so much that my parents used to actually ground me from reading when I got in trouble.
I am “that” girl: the one who raises her hand in class when the teacher asks “Now who has read ___ ?” or who always says “The book is better” after seeing a movie. And I’m sorry. I’m not sorry for who and what I am, but I am sorry for “book people”.
I know far too many people who have been put off reading by the annoying girl/guy who comes up, makes some snide remark about their reading material of choice, and then flounces away. Do I think that some books are greater? Heck yes! But when we shove those books on reluctant readers, sometimes it’s enough to crush them altogether.
However, that being said, if I see you reading Twilight, I will point and laugh.. I have read full-on actual romance novels that were better written and had more of a plot. I know it makes me hypocritical, but I just…it…I can’t, guys!
How do you feel about books? Love ’em? Hate ’em? Do you love Twilight and hate me? Let me know 🙂
This is exactly what I expect Saturday to be like....
Hello! I had classes until almost 6 and then youth group after that. Life is crazy busy sometimes, guys.
So apparently I’m going to a dance on Saturday. This will be interesting. As you may know, I’m in high school but I go to college. I’ve never really had a traditional high school experience, complete with dances, school events, and um…other kids.
However, not all my friends are as nontraditional. I mean, sure, most of them go to the local art school, but that’s still much more traditional than my education.
Anyways, one of my friends found himself without a date and asked me if I’d be his fallback. And I said yes. I’m just nice, I guess. 😛
It’s “Spring Fling” with a beach theme. From what I can figure, spring fling is semi-formal, not super-dressed-up formal. Which is nice. But I’m still a bit befuddled about finding something to wear. One of my friends has offered me the use of a sundress that sounds perfect. So that’s good and stuff…
Ahhhhhh, I’ve never been to a dance. I mean, I’ve been asked but things have always kept me from going. I don’t even dance particularly well!!! The good news is, I have a lot of friends at this school so that should be fun. The bad news is, 2 of my 3 nemeses also attend this school (my other nemesis works at a theater and has a very distinctive voice…it’s complicated.) Betcha didn’t know I had not one but 3 nemeses, did you? :O
Have you ever been to a dance? Was it a good experience? Bad experience? Do you have any advice? Let me know in the comments!
I have to go read “The Hobbit” now (for school!!!! Yay!!!!), so I’ll ttyl.
If I'm Juliet... 