Monthly Archives: April 2012

Random Facts About Me

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  1. I’m allergic to coconut.
  2. I’m incredibly impulsive
  3. I tend to think out loud.
  4. I hate to think of the idea of dying without having accomplished anything.
  5. Although I like to believe I’m deep, I’m surprisingly shallow.
  6. Sometimes, I just sit in my room eating sugar, watching fanvids, and crying.
  7. People’s opinions matter far too much to me.
  8.  I really don’t know where my life is going
  9. I love blogging
  10. This has been BEDA 2012

I only missed 5 days!

Not in Love

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I think that there’s a chance

And even admitting that makes me queasy

I mean, me: eternal pessimist

Keeper of the temple of broken dreams

And hearts to boot. It’s impossible

The math must be wrong, the calculations

Faulty. The results are mistaken.

I am not. I cannot. There’s no way at all.

I refuse to believe I’m in love.

My Love Affair with Shakespeare

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List of titles of works based on Shakespearean...

Recently, I started reading The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. In the section entitled “The Cemetery of Forgotten Books”, the narrator says:

“…few things leave a deeper mark on a reader than the first book that finds its way into his heart. Those first images, the echo of words we think we have left behind, accompany us throughout our lives and sculpt a place in our memory to which, sooner or later – no matter how many books we read, how many worlds we discover, or how much we learn and forget- we will return.”

 For me, two books are tied for this role. One is The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling. The other is Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.

 I know that you will probably laugh at that. Romeo and Juliet is not my favorite play of Shakespeare’s. I don’t think that it is the love story to end all love stories. But it was the play that first made me realize what people could do with words.

 Unlike the chapter books we read in class, Shakespeare’s words rolled off the tongue. They danced while the chapter books tottered. And as Romeo fell in love with Juliet, I fell in love with the English language.

I’ve read *almost* all of Shakespeare’s plays and all of his sonnets. I own more than 3 different versions of his complete works plus individual copies of some of the plays. I even went to school dressed in a historically accurate Roman stoa in order to give a  book report on Julius Caesar.

In my experience, the two most some responses to Shakespeare are apathy or love. I think it’s clear which side I’m on.

Some Quotes About Creating

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These inspire me and, in lieu of yesterday’s post, I thought I’d share them with you :

“To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.” -Kurt Vonnegut

”Creative blocks’ come from people’s life journeys. If you don’t know who you are or what you’re about or what you believe in it’s really pretty impossible to be creative. So I think a lot of times when people have “creative blocks” and I know my share of friends do as well if they’re at just some stuck point. They’re not sure what to do with their lives or their writing or their photography or their filmmaking or whatever it is that they’re doing. I think the best advice is you have to change your life up completely; to go on a trip, to go spend a year being of service. Be willing to take some major drastic action to get you out of your comfort zone and go inside, not outside.” -Rainn Wilson

“You may not be a Picasso or Mozart but you don’t have to be. Just create to create. Create to remind yourself you’re still alive. Make stuff to inspire others to make something too. Create to learn a bit more about yourself.”-Frederick Terral

“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” -Joseph Chilton Pierce

” I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out
in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom
of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.” -Jack London’s Credo

“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” -Bertrand Russell

“You can’t say, I won’t write today because that excuse will extend into several days, then several months, then… you are not a writer anymore, just someone who dreams about being a writer.” – D.C. Fontana

‘The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”-Jack Kerouac

When we tell stories about creativity, we tend to leave out this phase. We neglect to mention those days when we wanted to quit, when we believed that our problem was impossible. Instead, we skip straight to the breakthrough. We tell the happy ending first. The danger of this scenario is that the act of feeling frustrated is an essential part of the creative process. Before we can find the answer — before we can even know the question — we must be immersed in disappointment, convinced that a solution is beyond our reach. We need to have wrestled with the problem and lost. Because it’s only after we stop searching that an answer may arrive.” – Jonah Lehrer

“Hank, it seems to me that one of the points of being alive is that we get to pay attention. We get to both participate in and observe this weird universe that is simultaneously, like, stunningly elegant and completely heartless.” – John Green

Festina Lente

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So, I love the arts. I’m especially passionate about literary, performing, and visual arts. Literary arts are my life, and I’ve taken two terms of theater classes. I’m also volunteering with a local theater troupe. But my love for visual arts is a bit more complicated.

I was that kid in kindergarten who refused to color in class because it was “silly”. I haven’t taken a visual art class since middle school. And if you asked someone to describe me, I doubt the words “painter’, “artist” or “the next Van Gogh” would be used.

You see, unlike with theater or lit., I always considered myself bad at visual arts. I loved drawing and painting and shaping clay, but I hated to show my work to others for fear that it would fall short of some invisible standard. I wanted to be the best and I knew that I wasn’t the best at this.

Two things changed my mind, or at least, forced me to reconsider my perspective of what makes good art. The first was a painting of pumpkins I did as a make-up assignment for my middle-school art class. I had been sick and the teacher had told me to create a painting of whatever I wanted in order to get credit. So, I chose pumpkins.

Painting those pumpkins was the first time I felt like I was doing something that wasn’t too weird or bad or incomplete for others to see. And when I turned it in, I felt like da Vinci bestowing a second Mona Lisa.  Obviously it wasn’t, but it’s the first time I remember being proud of a piece of visual art.

The second was when I was doodling in my notebook one day, and my friend looked over and said, “Hey, that’s pretty cool. I wish I could draw like that.” I looked down at my doodle and then up my friend in surprise. I wasn’t working on anything spectacular. I was just drawing interesting lines over and over. And suddenly it dawned on me:

Art isn’t about perfection

In fact, one dictionary defines art simply as a work produced by skill and imagination.

What I was doing was legitimate art, even if it wasn’t likely you’d find in a museum.

My teacher has an expression she likes to use. “Festina lente”, or hurry slowly. I think that one phrase sums up my whole experience with art. It’s been about letting things happen and embracing opportunities. It’s knowing that I’m headed someplace, but still taking time to smell the roses. It’s about art for art’s sake and not in order to please an imaginary critic.

There’s my 5 cents worth. Don’t spend it all at one place! 😛

Things I Like*

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*because I’m tired and lazy and hungry and I can’t have food until I’ve had some tests tomorrow morning.

1.

As a Whovian, I must say, we have the most adorable cast. I don’t care if you’re not a fan of Matt Smith or Karen Gillan. They’re just the cutest individuals alive!

2. I’m working on an abstract art project. This is what the inside of my head looks like:

Cy Twombly's Work Space

3. Speaking of art…

A palette…of CUPCAKES!!!! (Did I mention that I’m hungry? 😛 )

4. I read this great essay called How to Do What You Love by Paul Graham. It’s inspiring but still realistic. As someone who is still searching for her purpose in life (at least career-wise), it was amazingly comforting.

5.  Can I preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of Glee? I mean, if you like Glee, good for you! But it’s just not my thing. However, I am most definitely a fan of Darren Criss, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned in the past. So, this cover of Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know” is something that I very much enjoyed. I like how the song is turned from being about lovers to being about two brothers who no longer get along. (I still like the original best, I think)

6. Guys, I made a human heart!

Yes, this has to do with the aforementioned art project.

7.  I cannot recommend Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman highly enough. It’s one of the best collections of poetry I’ve ever read. Not every piece is mind blowing, but oh so many are.

Like…

And you, O my Soul, where you stand,
Surrounded, surrounded, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing,—seeking the spheres, to connect them;
Till the bridge you will need, be form’d—till the ductile anchor hold;
Till the gossamer thread you fling, catch somewhere, O my Soul.

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Tell me if this is a normal person thing or just a weird me thing. I’m not really sure.

Do you guys ever fall in love with an idea? I mean, hardcore, heart in your mouth, butterflies in your stomach, nervous, sweaty in love with an idea?

Does it become some kind of driving force behind your thoughts, a kind of background music to your day? Is it something that you just can’t shake, something that seems to bubble up from inside of you? And, even though it’s crazy, you find that this idea is on par with food, water, and shelter when it comes to the list of things you need to survive?

It’s not being OCD. It’s not like being on some kind of maniac trip. It’s just this all-abiding passion for one singular idea.

No? Just me? Ok.

Sigh